


Idle Chatter

by Reyanth



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Biting, Blood, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Collars, Comfort, Dirty Talk, Emotional Burnout, Furry, Implied teacher-student relationship, Leashes, M/M, Masochism, Master/Pet, Pillow Talk, Sadism, Stalking, Teachers, Twins, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:33:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyanth/pseuds/Reyanth
Summary: 1. Pillow talk between Leona and Vil is like nothing you've ever heard. What starts out as Malleus bashing gets dark fast.2. Malleus and Leona have some complaints about certain quirks and habits.3. Idia takes a keen interest in some of Cater's photos and their subjects.4. Jamil and Leona discuss the choice of party members for the fairy gala.5. Malleus and Leona discuss therian hygiene and cultural exchange.6. Cater and Idia find common ground and a mutual safe haven in one another.7. Inspired by a certain sight, Malleus wants to try something new with Leona.8. Jack and Epel engage in some pet play, stumbled upon by Malleus.9. The Leech twins extend their hospitality to Vil, hoping to use his influence to promote the Mostro Lounge's new mystery drink.10. Divus Crewel is stressed after his first day teaching, but he finds the perfect outlet in his former professor.
Relationships: Cater Diamond/Idia Shroud, Divus Crewel/Mozus Trein, Epel Felmier/Jack Howl, Floyd Leech/Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud/Malleus Draconia, Jade Leech/Vil Schoenheit, Leona Kingscholar/Vil Schoenheit, Malleus Draconia/Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia/Leona Kingscholar, Malleus Draconia/Vil Schoenheit
Comments: 21
Kudos: 330





	1. Green-Eyed Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Many of my fics begin as chains of dialogue, which then get fleshed out with narration, names, etc. This, however, just felt complete as is.

"You know what I hate? How he lists his height as 202 cm. Who does he think he's fooling? It couldn't be more obvious that he's including his horns. I don't count my ears!"

"And the way he hides his age? He's just rubbing in that eternal youth we mere mortals would ironically die for. I bet he's never used skin products in his life. It's degenerate."

"And he dislikes 'whole cakes!' How weirdly specific is that? So half cakes are fine? How about 3/4 cakes? Or 9/10 cakes? Are they ok?"

"No, that one I get. Who could possibly stomach an entire cake?"

"Me. I could."

"Says the guy who would happily devour an entire carcas. Heathen."

"Poser."

"Just between you and me...? I fantasize about stroking his horns. So sleek and silky... They must feel so smooth to the touch."

"I'm surprised you're not tempted to sit on 'em."

"Could you be more uncouth?"

"What? You get off on pain, and we both know it."

"Pain... Perhaps. Being sliced up inside? Skewered? No, thank you."

"Damn. Why is that such a turn on?"

"You wouldn't really want to hurt me like that...would you?"

"No... I wouldn't. But imagining it...? Something about the thought of your pure white skin, streaked with blood... Soaked into your hair... Dying your lips..."

"You're awful."

"Then why are you so hard you're shaking?"

"That's not... I'm terrified, you brute! The look in your eyes... It's like you want to eat me alive."

"Bones and all, baby..."


	2. Fairies and Furries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malleus and Leona squabble over everyday, mundane character flaws...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Apparently this is a series now.
> 
> This one goes out to my demonic kitty. (Not Leona. My real kitty.)

"I mean, I like that you can be affectionate sometimes. It's just... Sometimes it gets a bit...weird."

"Weird?"

"Kinky."

"Like how!?"

"For starters... When you wake up just a bit and start humming low in your throat and then lick and nibble at my jaw... It's kinda sexy."

"Then what's your damn problem!?"

"Until you bite my chin. And hang on. Until I have to pry you off."

"When have I ever done that!?"

"Literally twenty minutes ago."

"Like hell I did!"

"You don't remember because you immediately sighed, nuzzled your face into my neck, and fell asleep again."

"Lies."

"Then there's the rubbing."

"Oh, you love getting rubbed!"

"Not that kind... The kind where you rub your face against my horns and occasionally lick them, just to check what they taste like, I assume."

"For your information, it's because I like them, and I just wanna make sure they have a bit of me on 'em, you know? My scent."

"So... That's you marking your territory?"

"I guess you could say that..."

"So when you rub your face all over my junk...?"

"Mine."

"Are you growling...or purring?"

"Why don't you rub my belly and find out...?"

"Last time I explored your skin like that, you flipped over and sank your teeth into my shoulder!"

"Foreplay."

"More like entrapment!"

"Oh, you wanna talk entrapment!? Do you have any idea how hard it is to dodge your fairy bargain bullets when you're riding me so hard I can't think straight!? A week ago, you almost had me handing over my spot in line for the throne, and last night, you nearly trapped me in Faerie forever! You do not play fair, Malleus! Not by a long shot."

"I'd never intentionally trick you... You know that, right? Cross my heart, hope to... Oh, look! A bird!"

"WHEREZABIRD!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Leona could stand to engineer a dealbreaker or two...
> 
> Optional ending:
> 
> "Oh, silly me. It was just this sock I threw."
> 
> "SOCK!"
> 
> "Hey, Leo... You know what rhymes with sock...?"
> 
> "Huh? Shh... You'll scare my prey aw... Oh. Good rhyme. Yeah, that works, too. Mmmm. Ears... Ack! Not the ears! How many times I gotta tell ya!?"
> 
> "Sh... You love it. Malleus knows best."
> 
> "Mmmm. That's good. Kiss me right there, under the chin. No... There. No wait, had it the first time..."


	3. Edgy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idia takes a keen interest in some of Cater's photos and their subjects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a certain card and then hijacked by pervy Idia.

"Why do you have, like, a thousand magicams of Vil having sex? ...Or is that a stupid question?"

"What the...!? Where the heck did you come from, Idia!? And...it's not what you think."

"I'd assume you were lying if you didn't sound so down about it... So what's the deal?"

"It's not Vil I'm trying to snap."

"Huh? But he looks perfect in every one, like he's posing for it... And he's always the only one in frame or in focus. Who's doing him, anyway?"

"I think what you meant to ask was 'Who's not?' but in this case...it's Malleus Draconia."

"...I'm not."

"That's too bad."

"Yeah... Wait, Malleus? For real? Then this thigh... And this nipple... And this... Oh, wow."

"Oh, snap, Idia. You got a thing for Malleus sempai?"

"Like you don't."

"I mean, sure, kinda, but Vil's more my type."

"Ahuh. Which is why you're going Hades for leather trying to get a photo of Malleus."

"Again, not what you think."

"So enlighten me."

"Ugh, he's just being a huge dick!"

"I'll say."

"Idia!"

"Heheh."

"Anyway, I made one joke about him being too mysterious to show up on camera, and now he's torturing me."

"Lucky you."

"IDIA!"

"Whatever. I think it's hot."

"That he's a stubborn child?"

"That he's a sassy edgelord."

"You're a sassy edgelord."

"Heh... Heheh."

"Uh... What?"

"You have no idea..."

"Oh my god. Just... What?"

"I'm edging right now."

"IDIA!!!"


	4. Words Beginning with E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamil and Leona discuss the choice of party members for the fairy gala.

"Exotic? That's why they picked us? Are you kidding me?"

"Yeah. They literally went and picked the four guys who are least allergic to the sun in the entire school."

"So how'd we end up with Ruggie...?"

"Jack irritates me."

"What, cause he's not a bowing, scraping scrub?"

"Pretty much."

"Fair... But doesn't it piss you off at all? How are you so chill?"

"I mean, I tried to come up with alternative suggestions of how to interpret exotic..."

"What, and failed? Because it's just another word for not being a pasty-ass little bitch?"

"Actually, I was gonna suggest the twins. I mean, they're pretty damn unique...but I also wouldn't trust them not to murder all the fairies and take the stupid tiara for themselves, so..."

"That's...too real."

"Kalim's super into this whole gala mission, you know."

"Of course he is. Kalim's super into everything. You sure they're not confusing exotic with eccentric...?"

"Are we eccentric?"

"The question, Kingscholar, is 'Would they consider us eccentric?'"

"Ha! If we're talking eccentric, we'd end up with Idia, Roseheart, and those creepy-ass twins again, and the gala would go down in flames! Don't even get me started on that narcissist, Vil, or the many eccentricities of Malleus, for that matter."

"Also Kalim. Dear, eccentric Kalim."

"Eccentric, exotic, expiala-Kalim."

"What language are you speaking?"

"What? It's Mary Poppins. Expialidocious? As in, supercalifragilistic...?"

"Now you're just making stuff up."

"Like hell I am! It's Disney!"

"Dizzy...?"

"Dis-ney!"

"Dist...? Yeah, I'm just screwing with you. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie of all time."

"No shit? Me, too."

"Figures."

"What, cause everyone with furry ears and a tail has to identify with the Beast?"

"Dude. No. It's cause you're a prickly, egocentric asshole who would totally lock some chick up and then do the absolute minimum to get her to like you just in case it broke the curse."

"You're not wrong... But at least I'm not secretly a Gaston fanboy. Talk about egocentric."

"Hardly. It's all about Lumiere. That candlestick knows how to host."

"...Kalim really has you whipped, huh? I mean, you take that servant stuff seriously."

"You just wish you had someone with my skills on staff."

"Damn right I do. Speaking of exotic..."

"...Don't even."

"I hear you're quite the exotic dancer."

"I'm a breakdancer."

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

"Oh... I thought you were talking about stripping."

"...If I was, would you charge by the hour? I'm asking for a friend."

"...Is it Malleus?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"What would an extrovert like you want with a stripper if not to screw with your introverted boytoy?"

"I just figure, if you can charm a snake, why not a dragon?"

"I'll charm your snake! Damn! I heard it after I said it."

"Or...you could teach me your ways and maybe I'll charm you, Jamil Viper."

"32."

"What?"

"The number of times someone's used that line on me."

"Ugh... Were they all... Uh, what's the opposite of exotic...? Bland?"

"Actually... It was just Kalim. 31 times. And now you."

"I, uh... Wow. I'm gonna go now. I think I'm about to have an existential crisis."

"Exeunt Leona Kingscholar, stage OUT."


	5. Fairies and Furries Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malleus gets an inriguing invitation, and learns some mindblowing facts about therian society from Leona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because big cats are just bigger cats...

"Leo...na... Were you just licking your balls? ...Don't just stare at me like that's completely normal! Hey, don't ignore me! Mother of Night... You can actually reach your... Wow."

"It's called hygiene, hornbag. And don't act like you don't lick my bits all the time."

"Remind me never to interrupt your bathtime, sourpuss."

"Don't interrupt my bathtime."

"Cute. Anyway. I came to tell you I've been officially invited on a royal tour of the Pridelands. I thought you might like to accompany me and show me around your home."

"You should probably decline... You can't handle the Pridelands."

"Excuse me!? Unlike 'someone,' I have a duty as heir to my kingdom to better diplomatic relations with our allies and neighbors!"

"Yeah, well... Your nose is practically bleeding watching one therian bathe."

"What's that got to do with-!?"

"What-exactly-do you imagine bathtime is like in a lion pack?"

"..."

"Hm?"

"..."

"Shit. Your nose IS bleeding! The heck is going on in your head!?"

"It's like...an orgy of tongues and tails..."

"I mean... You're not wrong... We genuinely only groom other family members, though. Or, rather, the alpha does. You know how it... Malleus? Malleus!"

"..."

"Get it together!"

"...What happened?"

"You fainted."

"Oh. Oh well. I feel fine now. Excuse me. I need to have Sebek draft an acceptance to King Farena's invitation."

"...Oh. Now I get it... Wait... Malleus! Crap! Arg...! Damn it, Farena... I bet this was your plan all along, you perv..."


	6. Edgy Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cater finds he can drop the act around Idia and decides to visit, bearing a gift to break the ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hints at Cater's overcompensation as a closet introvert brought this about. I still have a ways to go before I quite find a voice for Idia that melds with the canon but allows a certain amount of inspiration, but that's what this little playground is for.

"Knock knock... Who's there? Cater. Cater who? Catering to your needs, so let me in already, Idia!"

"...Come in."

"...Hey."

"...Hello."

"Here."

"A USB stick? W-what's on it?"

"Stick it in and find out."

"Heheh..."

"Hornbag."

"It's Malleus... So many photos... But how?"

"I just told him you wanted a picture or two, and he actually started posing."

"Huh... Hey...C-Cater...?"

"Mmm?"

"You don't seem you're usual self today."

"...Is that a problem? I figured you, of all people, wouldn't mind if I let myself breathe for a bit."

"...Now I get it."

"Get what?"

"I just thought it was weird that I don't get so nervous around someone as energetic and social as you... I look at your Magicam a lot, and I'm always intimidated or jealous, but in person..."

"In person...?"

"W-what are you doing?"

"I'm going to put my arms around you, and when you're done talking, I'm going to kiss you. Fair warning."

"I-in person...you don't scare me so much. I didn't get it...but now I think you're a lot like me. You just try harder to fit in."

"Too hard..."

"Nnng..."

"Mmm... Idia...?"

"You don't have to hide it around me. You can be yourself."

"Then, can you tell me something? What made you start hiding away like this? Something happened, right? ...Was it Malleus?"

"He didn't do anything b-b-bad... I just..."

"Did he touch you?"

"...Yes."

"Did you want him to?"

"...Yes. I just...couldn't believe I was worthy. He doesn't know who I really am. He wouldn't understand."

"...I do."

"...Yeah."

"You won't hide from me, will you?"

"Not as long as you show me the real you."

"Can I stay here for a bit? I feel like I can recharge as long as you're holding me.... We don't have to talk if you don't want."

"...Stay here as long as you want."


	7. Fairies and Furries Pt. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spotting Epel and Jack at play, Malleus learns some new tricks he wants to try out with Leona...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you start chatting about Pomfiore, Savanaclaw, and pet play on Discord.

"Leona..."

"Shhh... Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"

"...Leona."

"Look, Malle... Holy shit. What is that...? Are you holding a fucking collar? Don't even think about it."

"..."

"I said, no! Over my dead body!"

"..."

"Don't fucking pout at me. I am not wearing that thing!"

"...It's for me."

"I don't care if it's for the Queen of fucking Hearts... Wait... You mean, for you...to wear?"

"Yeah."

"Where the hell did you even get an idea like that?"

"I saw Epel and Jack playing in the locker room... It looked like fun. Nobody ever wants to do fun things like that with me..."

"Don't... You can't guilt me into... Fuck. Give me that... There. It's on. Happy?"

"Can't it go any tighter?"

"Fuck..."

"That's better. Here."

"A... A leash!? What, you wanna go for walkies or something!?"

"Don't you want everyone to see you own me?"

"...You kinky little bitch. Forget walking. Get on your knees right...now. Shit, that was fast."

"Epel made Jack kiss his knees."

"The fuck...? No, don't do that! Just..."

"Just...what?"

"Unbuckle my pants... You know what to do then."

"I don't... Unless you tell me... Master."

"...I'm gonna murder Epel for putting these ideas in your head...but only after I kiss him."


	8. Pets and Players

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what exactly did Malleus see...? Let's take a look back in time with Jack and Epel...

"Hey, Jack. Would you mind staying back and helping me a bit?"

"Uh, sure, Epel... What do you need...?"

"My, uh, locker's stuck. I need a big, strong guy like... Okay, they're gone. Lock the door."

"Wait, what?"

"I said, lock the door, Bitch."

"...Uh, right. Yes, Master!"

"Is it locked?"

"I think so?"

"What was that?"

"Uh, yes, Master! It's locked! I think..."

"Just get over here, you lowly slut, and suck my tongue."

"Yes...Master!"

"Mmmph... Jack..."

"Yesh mashtrr?"

"Shit."

"Hm?"

"Fwah... I said sit, Bitch."

"Yes, Master!"

"Very good. Here's your reward."

"A ch-choker chain!?"

"I had it made, especially for you. See? It's got your name engraved in it. Well? Are you pleased?"

"I... Master... Thank you...!"

"Go on... Kiss my knees... Mmm... Oh...?"

"Master...? Nnghk!"

"Shut up. Give it more tongue. And use your teeth. We don't want to disappoint our audience."

"Uh... Audie—? Ghrk!"

"Don't test my patience, Jack."

"S-Sorry, Master... I'll do better."

"Damn right you will... Mmmm... Just like that. A little higher, now..."

"Are they...still...watching...?"

"Like a hawk, baby. Show him what you've got."

"Yes...Master."


	9. Premium Service

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Based on Azul's SSR story)
> 
> Vil is invited to the Mostro Lounge to promote the new mystery drink and Floyd does his very best to please while Jade supervises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Floyd's nickname for Vil updatad to the official, Betta Fish (Betta-chan-senpai).

"Hey, Betta Fish."

"Floyd..."

"Thanks for coming by today and all."

"What Floyd means to say, Mr. Schoenheit, is that we are honored to have you as a guest in our humble establishment."

"I was promised a new drink made with luxury ingredients..."

"Haha, yeah. It's our new mystery drink!"

"Mystery...? Don't tell me it's made with Azul's squid ink..."

"Perish the thought! For one, Azul's true form is that of a plus-sized octopus."

"Plus-sized...?"

"Jade, if Azul hears you, he'll squirt ink in your eye again!"

"For another thing, octopus do not go about shooting off jets of ink, it's more of a defense mechanism―and you know very well that isn't ink, Floyd... Either way, I promise that the drink you will be served if you agree to a little quid-pro-quo is comprised of the most luxurious gummies, each one a gem, bursting with natural flavors, floating in a carbonated ambrosia."

"Oh...? And you want me to post it on my Magicam, I suppose. I might―if I'm blown away. Anyway, isn't it opening time? Why haven't you opened the doors yet?"

"You get to have the whole lounge to yourself! But me and Jade are here, though. We'll take good care of you, Betta Fish."

"Well, let's see it, then."

"Just like that? No foreplay?"

"Now, now, Floyd, Mr. Schoenheit is here on business today. He doesn't have time to cater to our whims. I'll be right back with our latest and greatest product."

"Awww, Jade's no fun today...but Azul told me I should give you premium service. Do you like tongue or teeth!?"

"Tongue...or...? Hnnn! What...? What in the name of mercy are you doing, Floyd!?"

"My, my. He is hasty, though, isn't he? You just sit back and relax now, Mr. Schoenheit. You made the right choice. Floyd's tongue does some exquisite things... Now, if you will do your best to focus your attention on the product while Floyd goes about his work..."

"Ah...nnn... You expect me to drink this while he's...r-ravishing me under the table?"

"Of course. It's all part of the artistic vision. You are a professional, are you not? Surely a model of your caliber can work any photo opportunity... Oh dear. Mine's out of battery. May I borrow yours?"

"Ha...ahh..."

"Magicam, Magicam... There we go. Drink up, now... That's it..."

"Mmmnggghhhh...gllgh.... Ahhh!"

"That's the shot!"

"Hah... What...? Did you just photograph me mid-climax!?"

"Aaaand...posted! Perfect! These ought to sell like clay pots to an octopus!"

"Pots...? What...? Did you just post that on my account!?"

"Ooh, let me see! Wow, that's super sexy, Betta Fish! Thanks for helping us promote the mystery drink! I like your taste better, though... You sure you don't prefer teeth? I could go again."

"No. Thank you very much, but I'll pass. Give me that! Oh, no, it's already gone vira... Actually...this is a gorgeous shot."

"Of course it is, Betta Fish! It's you!"

"No, I mean..."

"Timing...is everything. I would, of course, be glad to demonstrate other applications if you're not in a hurry...? Have we...blown you away as of yet?"

"I could...spare time for another round... Of mystery drink! Not...that! The gummie drink!"

"Relax, Betta Fish... Jade's real gentle when he means to be."

"Our instructions were to give you premium service, after all."


	10. Ruff Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Divus Crewel is stressed after his first day teaching, but he finds the perfect outlet in his former professor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no... I really took to heart a short Divus/Trein comic in which Divus kept getting led on and then left hanging, so I vowed to take revenge... So I did. So... This happened.

"You look a little worse for wear, Divus. Long first day?"

"Tentacle cannibalism..."

"My, the trouble these kids stir up... That hulking wolf of a boy chased Lucius halfway around the school during lunch today. My poor, dear boy is half traumatized."

"You mean, the tuna-fattened lump that's lying between us with its paws in the air and its belly an open trap for the unwary...?"

"It's a defense mechanism, Divus. Though, I suppose it would be too much to ask a primped and pampered pedigree canine like you to comprehend the trials and tribulations of a sensitive feline animal."

"Be quiet! I've just about had it with your feline elitism, you cold old bag of bones."

"Divus...? Clearly your day was rougher than I imagined, but I'll thank you not to—"

"Care to put your money where your mouth is?"

"What are you talking about, Divus? Get a hold of your—"

"If you bark for me, I'll let you go."

"...Don't you taking that growling tone with me, young man."

"I'm not your student anymore, Trein. I don't sit and stay when you flick the leash. Oh...? What's this between your legs, hmmm? Or do you just have a hard-on for cat ears all day long...?"

"This is inappropriate, Divus. Stop what you're doing, right now."

"Make me."

"Stop... Mmf... Rrrff."

"Come again?"

"Rrrrufff."

"Ahahahahahaha...! You didn't actually think that would get you off the hook, did you? No...Professor. You're in my class, now."

"Nnn... Divus Crewel, you may be a teacher now, but you're still a naughty, haughty boy who doesn't know his place! If you... If you don't... Ha... Stop...what you're doing and... And... Ah..."

"And...?"

"And...kiss me...right this instanmmnnnffff..."

"Mmm... Good boy, my dearest Professor..."

"You...haven't changed one bit."

"Mmhmmm... Except, now, you can't pull rank on me...and we both know that I'm the alpha here."

"Frankly, I don't give a damn about your little games and power plays. That won't fly with me."

"Then I'll just have to prove to you every day exactly who is superior here. Will that suit?"

"It will not."

"There it is, that feline nature of yours... You never admit when you want something, do you? You were always like that when I was a student here."

"It never stopped you before."

"And it never will...Professor. Mmph."

"Ouch! Don't bite me, you beast!"

"Rrrrr. Mph."

"En...ough...! If... If you insist on continuing with these dirty little tricks...we should move to a more appropriate location. The staff lounge isn't exactly private, you know. Besides... Lucius is watching."

"Hehehehe. See? It's not so difficult to be honest about what you want, now is it?"

"...Deviant child."

"I'm a grown man, Trein."

"Hmph. All the same."

**Author's Note:**

> Join me at https://discord.gg/83pPzaZ a Twisted Wonderfic community! 
> 
> Discuss your favorite pairings, hear first-hand about updates, see teasers, promote your own work, check references, bask in your ships, get game tips, and more!


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